~ Today I want to share with you a very special story. Tessy was my first prayer partner when I did the Adoption Prayer Box Swap. It was a joy to get to know her, especially her passion for serving our Lord. She writes over at Divine Moments and is a momma of four beautiful children. She is a gifted writer, so make sure to check out her space! ~
Where does my adoption story begin? How did our family reach a decision to adopt? I believe God has ordered our steps all along the journey. One yes, led to another. Each yes was used as a stepping-stone to open our eyes to the plight of the orphan. I believe God was always prompting us in that direction. He would prompt our hearts, speak in that still small voice. When we said yes, and we followed, He prepared our hearts a little more.
One of those stepping-stones of faith was a mission trip to Ecuador that both my husband and I went on in 2006. My eyes were opened to a life far different from my comfortable American one. God began to redefine what serving Him was really about. My perception of life as I knew it had been altered forever and my heart irreversible changed. I believe that this mission trip was the first stirring of my heart that God expected more from me.
Shortly after the birth of the twins my heart knew that my family was not yet complete, but I knew I did not want to have any more children. This was a strange conflict of emotions. For some reason when you have twins, people are really curious if you’re going to have any more children. 🙂 I was asked countless times, “So are you all done?”
Craig would always be quick with his reply, “Yes, we are done”, raising his eyebrows at me in an attempt at a silent lecture.
My emotions on the subject continued to clash together. It was in these conflicted emotions when God begin to stir my heart on adoption. No audible voice said, “Thou shall adopt!” It was simply a subtle awareness that crept in through prayer and reading God’s word. Meanwhile, God kept ordering my steps, preparing my heart. At a Woman of Faith conference in March of 2009 another seed was planted deep in my heart by the testimony of Steven Curtis Chapman. Though my heart was becoming more and more sensitive to adoption I knew my husband needed to be on the same page as well. A simple conversation where he listed bullet points of practical reasons “why it was not feasible for us to adopt” (mainly financial) showed me that we were not on the same page. I left the conversation with a discouraged heart. Thankfully, I am a stubborn person, so I kept praying that someday his heart would connect with mine and God would keep working on him.
So, you can imagine my excitement when one day he came home and told me God had really stirred his heart on adoption through a Focus on the Family program he had listened to on the radio. I wish I could say that after that we completely surrendered and said yes to the obvious direction God obviously intended. However, though Craig’s heart was stirred, he still had his list of impossibilities to work through. Looking back now, I realize that God had planted a seed in his heart, like he had done my own, that He would grow in his own time.
Defeated once again, I began to retreat from my dream to adopt and decided that maybe my story would be just helping people to adopt in anyway that I could. I was quite certain God had put adoption on my heart for a reason. During this whole stirring of my heart process one of my closet friends attended a concert where both her and her husband felt God tug on their hearts to adopt. It wasn’t long before a few of my favorite blog friends were sharing about their decisions to adopt. Through their stories and words, God began to make it much clearer exactly what the next stepping-stone in our own journey would be. I didn’t realize it at the time but God was preparing my heart to trust His promise, even before it was fulfilled. I reached a point where the desire to adopt was so strong it was putting strain on my heart to just hold it at bay. I clearly remember the day I read my friends blog post entitled “Orphan Sunday”….tears streaming down my face as I read: “Our Pastor said that only 2% of people who consider adoption actually go through it.” Would we be part of the 98% who allowed the list of impossibilities to smother out our yes to God’s leading? That afternoon, I grieved such a thought. I cried, prayed, and emptied. I surrendered to trust in His timing. I left that conversation pretty broken, but I knew I had bared my soul.
I took my brokenness to our small group that night. We watched a video on being a hero in your own life story. With every word, I wanted to curl into a ball and sob. The video ended and we started to talk. It was then that God’s presence poured into the room. Suddenly, my husband was saying crazy things. Somehow, in a room full of people we were having a private conversation. When we returned home we talked and prayed, but mainly listened as God reset our heartbeats to a rhythm divine. All that time, I was waiting for God to put my husband and I on the same page. All along, God was waiting for us to surrender our hearts to Him alone.
So three years ago, on January 15th, we met our son Zalen Moise for the first time. God continued to order our steps, giving us the next stepping-stone, just when it was needed. Some days we walked completely on faith alone. Those stories are another post. I am not sure where you are at in your own journey, but I encourage you to follow God’s prompts for your life. His plan is so much better then anything you could come up with on your own.
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More adoption stories found here.