Calley’s Adoption Story

When God called us to the adoption process five and a half years ago, I had no idea what adventure, what faith challenges, and what blessings were awaiting our family. We were then a family of five, my husband was a bi-vocational pastor and we had three young sons. When I read in our adoption manual that it typically took two years to complete a Peruvian adoption process, I thought…”Nah! No way will it actually take that long for us! We’ll be going to Peru in nine or ten months.”

But it was almost exactly two years before our family was stepping on a plane to go and live in Peru for five weeks to complete the adoption process. During that two years, we were called to trust in a way we had never experienced in our journey following Jesus, before saying yes to adoption. From opening our hearts to adopting a three year old, to receiving huge surprises about the needs of the child we were already committed to adopting, we were continually brought back to a place of laying down our expectations and surrendering them at the feet of the only One who knew what was best.

As God would have it, only a couple of years after being home with our new daughter and also after having another biological son, the Lord once again began to lead our hearts down the path of adoption. We said yes- and a new trail of miracles and unexpected circumstances began to unravel before us.

We began our second process knowing we needed more space in our home to move forward. God immediately laid it on our hearts to pursue approval to adopt up to two children, and this time, a broader age approval in the event that He would lead us to adopt older children who could soon be aging out of the system. We knew that for that to happen, we also needed to sell our home and find a home with more space. The real estate market was not doing well at the time, but we prayed, “Lord, if this is the time for us to move forward in the adoption process, please sell our home and show us a larger home that will provide all of the space we need for our family.” Within a month and a half our home was sold for barely less than our asking price, and we had found a larger home that almost seemed as though it had been made for our family.

The process continued on and we began to see God miraculously provide everything for the second adoption process. With the provision came some news. We found out about a precious sibling set, a brother and sister, whom had been waiting to be adopted in Peru for nearly four years. In fact, the children were on the verge of being separated because of the fear that the older sibling was possibly keeping the younger one from being adopted.

We waited. We prayed fervently. We believed we were supposed to step forward and pursue these two children. Pursuing two older kids meant more challenges than we had originally expected. We had to jump through many extra hoops (as if the adoption process doesn’t have enough of those already). That included extra proofs of our capabilities to balance the challenges often associated with older child adoption, and eventually it meant changing agencies and extra money. But God is faithful, and every need was met. Because of a connection through our agency we were able to obtain videos, photos, and lots of information about these kids, who we fell more and more in love with with each passing day. As each adoption milestone passed and we obtained each new approval, we prepared our home for the two kids we now counted as our own son and daughter. We prepped a beautiful room for our teenage daughter to be, and we prepped our older boys room so they could share it with a new brother. Our kids also were beyond excited!

We were able to meet the children in Peru while on a mission trip, which further confirmed our heart and connection. It was obvious they adored us- and we adored them. Everything was perfect.

As we awaited our CIS approval, we prepped all of our dossier requirements and had everything set to send to Peru. It was due to mail to Peru in about a week, when we received a call. Peru had decided to place the children in another family. Nothing was to be changed. It was final.

I cannot express the devastation and confusion that swept over me. I was sure there had been some mistake and we’d receive the call that the wires had been crossed somehow and it was a mistake. We prayed and fasted like never before for the two kids who we felt deep inside were our children. But no one ever notified of us of a mistake. The two kids who we had spent over a year fighting and preparing for were placed in another family, essentially days before our paperwork arrived in Peru. That hurt.

Nothing made sense to me.

I’ll be honest. I’ve never experienced brokeness like I experienced in that season of life. I loved those children completely. How had we missed God? Where had we gone wrong? There had been other huge things God had impressed on us that were humanly impossible and we watched as He accomplished all of those impossibilities! The burden we had for these two specific kids was from that same vein. We had seemingly followed the Lord’s lead to this point- and it felt like we were standing at a cliff looking off and wondering what went wrong.

There were two things we knew for sure. God had used our advocacy for the two children to keep them from being separated. Our attorneys had gone for months and pleaded for the children to be kept together, because our paperwork for them was on the way. Because of that, the kids were not split up. We knew God had used these two kids to plant a love in us for older-child adoption. If there was more of a purpose in us pursuing these two kids, we may never know ti this side of heaven.

Through all of the trials of this process we have seen the Lord work so vividly, unlike ever before in our lives. We have known more of His peace and presence. Above everything though, we have learned more of His sweet faithfulness. In our first process, I had to lay down my personal expectations and trust God by faith. In our second process, I have learned a different area of faith. That is, the faith to praise and trust God even if everything I thought He was doing crashes down. The faith to know that He is good and is forming my life for His glory, even if these trials never make sense at all in this life. He is good. He is faithful. He is worthy to be trusted, no matter what happens.

I have learned through adoption, that as a follower of Jesus, I can simply walk on the fringes of my comforts and I can teeter on the edge of surrender while my days and life pass by. That, or I can hand the pen over to the Living God, fully dive in to this thing called surrender, and allow Him to write whatever He wants over me. Many times this might not be what I would have written over myself. But even when it hurts at first…it’s always much, much grander. And amazingly, when the world looks and sees the story He is writing, they don’t have to see the story of my mistakes or waste their time on pointless accolades over my accomplishments, which would surely never impact them or change their lives in any way. Rather, they can see a piece of Him. They can see what only He can do. Hopefully, that reflection will cause them to see how God can use anyone for His purposes, in any walk of life, if they’re only willing to surrender.

Read more of Calley’s story here:

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Click here for more Adoption Stories.

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