ReNaming Our Loneliness
My husband left me.
I lost my job.
My parent is sick and I have to care for them.
My children need me.
I’m been hurt by someone who said they were my friend.
I’m not friendly enough.
I’m too……..fat, dumb, skinny, boring….to have friends.
I am sick and I can’t leave the house.
I have no friends because I’m unlovable.
I’ve been rejected too many times.
I eat dinner alone every night.
The house is quiet and no one speaks even though we all live together.
Even with a lot of friends, no one truly knows the “real me.”
No one understands me.
I can stand in a room with 100 people and feel out of place.
Not important and forgotten.
I am set aside.
Do you feel set aside? Does your heart feel hidden, in a cabinet like the “good China” which we never use? It collects dust and fades over time. Is your life fading because you’ve been set aside?
My name, Sarah, is a common name. When I was seven I wanted more than anything to change my name. Maybe if I had an interesting name, like Jessica, Ashley, or Elizabeth my life would be more interesting.
Even as a mother of five with a husband, I’m pretty isolated. Missionary. Mother. Home schooling Teacher. Wife whose husband works long hours. It is easy to curl up with a good book and be alone, but isolation doesn’t always look like this. Sometimes isolation hurts. Loneliness hurts. It feels like a rejection. It leaves me empty, sad, and has led to anxiety and depression.
Instead of “bearing through” or “enduring” these seasons in my life, I want to instead thrive in my Christian life and develop a deeper relationship with God. So I’ve had to rethink, rename, and relearn how to view my lonely seasons.
Being set aside implies that we don’t have a purpose in life. Why am I here if I’m not connected to anyone? Do I even matter? Does my life even matter?
What if we slipped a different word into the phrase “set aside”? What if we said “set apart”? What if God has set us apart for a purpose….His purpose? What if we can serve Him in unique ways and get to know Him in a deeper, more full sense because of our loneliness?
Sarai was called out of Hur with her husband Abraham and called into the “Promised Land.” In the land of her family, friends, and comfort zone Sarai was barren. The woman whose name meant “mother” was childless. It was a lonely place to live. One day her husband says God has called them (not just him) but both of them into a land of promise. A child? Not yet. But it was coming.
God changed Sarah’s name not because of where she was, but because of where He wanted to take her. She was not suddenly full of children, she was still barren. But now her future was in the safe, faithful hands of a God who knew where she was headed.
What if we aren’t being called OUT of something but called TO something instead? Can we be called out of loneliness into holiness? Let’s redeem our lonely season by surrendering, following, and transforming our lives through the power of prayer, Bible reading and developing a deeper relationship with God. Let’s change the lonely label to what God has for us.
Called out of loneliness into a deeper relationship with God the Father.
Called out of loneliness into developing a Christ-like heart.
Called out of loneliness into dwelling daily with the Holy Spirit.
What is God calling you INTO during this season of loneliness?
Sarah E. Frazer is a writer and Bible study mentor at sarahefrazer.com. She is the wife of Jason and mother of five who all serve as full-time missionaries in Honduras. Her passion is to encourage women to fall in love with the Bible. Sarah is the author of several Bible study resources for women. She share tools for deep-rooted Bible study at sarahefrazer.com. Follow her on Instagram (http://www.instagram.com/sarah_e_frazer) and join her free prayer challenge at sarahefrazer.com/prayer