My Best Yes
What is your best yes?
As I stood in front of my son, after he had disobeyed me, my first reaction was a quick and instant punishment. He had argued and fussed. Every ounce of me was furious. I was tired. And I was busy. There was no room for grace that day.
My heart dropped when I dropped into the chair upstairs where I sat at my desk. Is that going to teach him anything? I asked myself. The anger and frustration dissolved away in prayers to God. I asked the Lord for forgiveness first. Then I walked back downstairs to admit my wrong to my child.
Mommy’s sorry. I said to him, explaining the difference between what is right and wrong. The rush to finish my own task had almost caused me to but a wedge between my little boy and myself. How many other moments have been lost to me just trying to rush? Writing and mothering have always been hard for me to balance.
Each night I would plop into bed at night thinking and planning. My heart ached from all of the things I left undone. Then, I would resolve to get up earlier, stay up later, and just do better. That wasn’t the answer. I didn’t have to do MORE, I needed to do less.
A Schedule and Routine
My soul, these past few months have been spent focusing on my schedule and routine. Since my husband lost his job back in February, we’ve been searching for a routine. The upheaval from that weighs me down. I began writing as well. What started out as a simple blog, has become so much more than that. My dream is bigger now. But, dreams are just the beginning. I needed to put in the work.
The question that plagued my heart years ago when I first starting pursuing writing full time was this: Was writing a “Best Yes” for me, right now? Doubts often flood through my mind. Eventually guilt evades my heart every time I sit down to write a sentence. But that is not the the answer.
Would writing and motherhood always collide?
Over the years I’ve questioned back and forth where I should continue to write and do this mothering thing. Motherhood is my first vocation. It is a non-negotiable My family is first. And I will not always do it right, but I choose my children over my writing. God sees my heart about this. And in this I trust Him!
As a result, I will no longer feel guilty for choosing writing too. I have all the resources (time, ability, money, passion, and season) to invest in BOTH of these callings. Right after a conversation with my husband, I was assured that he felt the same. And to God be the glory, nothing has seemed to fall away since I have been writing.
God will give us peace.
Although I have had to say small “no’s” along the way. Those no’s have nothing to do with motherhood or writing. I know this because over the years I’ve learned these things. First, God grants me wisdom to know what is the best use of my time. Second, I can always drop the ball on the writing, motherhood comes first. Finally, God cares about BOTH parts of my life! In conclusion, God gives us peace about our schedule when we take the schedule to him.
I love this quote from Lysa TerkHurst’s book, “The Best Yes.” It sums up so well the thoughts here:
Above all, God comes first. Time with Him is priority. In this way, God allows us to choose how we spend the day otherwise. Likewise, He provides for us wisdom.
You must check out Lysa Terkeurst’s book, The Best Yes*
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Sarah E. Frazer is a writer and Bible study mentor at sarahefrazer.com. She is the wife of Jason and mother of five who all serve as full-time missionaries in Honduras. Her passion is to encourage women to fall in love with the Bible. Sarah is the author of several Bible study resources for women. She shares tools for deep-rooted Bible study at sarahefrazer.com. Follow her on Instagram (http://www.instagram.com/sarah_e_frazer) and join her free prayer challenge at sarahefrazer.com/prayer