Waiting Wednesdays {2}

 

Do you want to hear a lie that most women believe? It is lie from Christian women, secular women, and ultimately it is a lie Satan wants you to believe. The lie is I am enough.

Mothers and women everywhere know that our deepest fear in life is that we are not enough. We cannot be good enough. Smart enough. Beautiful enough. Loving enough. Doing enough.

So, we tell ourselves and our daughters, sisters, mothers, and friends that we are all enough. We give in to the lie that we don’t have to try to be beautiful or smart or good.  We are who we are and that’s ok. This lie is sometimes passed along like a Biblical truth. But is isn’t not God’s truth, it is only partially true. The whole truth is: I am enough, in Jesus.

In Isaiah 35:3-4 we read:

Strengthen the weak hands,

    and make firm the feeble knees.

Say to those who have an anxious heart,

    “Be strong; fear not!

Behold, your God

    will come with vengeance,

with the recompense of God.

    He will come and save you.”

 

The Israelites tried to do it all on their own. They couldn’t. And that was a good thing. They were not enough.

 

But Jesus is enough.

2 Corinthians 12:9 – But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

As a young girl, I never liked to try new things. I have only been skiing once.  It was when I was around fourteen years old.  I went with a friend. We were spending a weekend at a local resort, for free because of her family’s timeshare.  I’ll never forget that weekend, because it was my first and last time ever skiing.  We struggled and giggled like typical teenage girls pulling on our snowsuits and aligning our skis.  We hobbled out into the cold to our “class.”  I’m not sure if I was just over-confident or if I couldn’t hear the instructor, but the class wasn’t much help.  I remember riding the ski lift to the top of the mountain.  My legs dangling so very high, wondering why there were no seat belts. I prayed the entire way up. I prayed that I would be able to jump off the lift and not fall on my backside.

When the time came for me to jump, I did and I remember landing on my feet. Success! I glided over to my friend at the edge of the mountain. We were ready to push off on the fresh powdered snow. My knees buckled and I fell. At the top. Not even two feet from the top.   I could feel the heat spreading to my face, struggling to right myself.  I spent five minutes trying to get on my feet again,only to fall again five more feet down the mountain.

My entire trip down that snow covered hill (it really was too small to be called a mountain) was one of falling. Getting up.  Falling.  Getting up.  My friend and I laughed together as we hit the snow over and over again.  At least I wasn’t falling alone.

On the outside I was laughing, but I remember on the inside I was crying. Of shame. Of embarrassment.  Of exhaustion and cold. I determined to never ski again. And I haven’t.

Even though my husband loves to ski, I’ve never put on a pair of skis again. All because it was there on that mountain my heart was pierced with the thought of failure. I would carry this inadequacy for the rest of my life: I am weak. I’m not good enough and I am weak. I never wanted to ski again because I never wanted to feel so weak again.

You can say with gladness: I AM NOT ENOUGH!

Because in the same breath, you can say: I am enough with Jesus. Rest in the fact that you don’t have to save yourself, Jesus already has.  While you wait one day at a time, Jesus will provide just enough strength, grace, love, peace, wisdom, and bravery.

 

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