How to Find Joy in Relationships

It has been two months since attending the She Speaks conference. With it being my second time around I had different expectations than last year. Another attender wrote: “Last year I came home with lots of business cards, this year I came home with new friendships.”

Networking looked a little different this second year.  A few girls connected with me before the conference and planned to meet up. While I was there, I sat and talked with just a few women, developing relationships, making connections, and just listening.

On the first day, I asked the Lord to give me one word or phrase to help focus my heart during all of the sessions. Many have said that She Speaks is like trying to drink from a fire hydrant. There is just so much information. The Lord gave me one word: LISTEN.

God gently reminded me to listen while I was there. Listen to others. Listen to the publisher’s. Listen to the speakers. I felt called to listen to other people’s stories.

One of the best nights was the Hope*Writer‘s gathering Thursday night. It was so encouraging to meet women who I had “met” in our Facebook group. Meeting them in person and listening to their hearts proved to be the best encouragement for me!

Each session was encouraging and practical. I made a list of great quotes:

Learn to be me. The best me!
Grow this way: Slow. Durable. Beautiful.
Build my audience with God.
Find joy in the relationships not the results.

That last quote has stuck with me and is my main takeaway from attending She Speaks.

As a writer, it means developing relationships with people and not trying to see them as part of a platform. I really want to get to know YOU. Yes, you reading this post! Whether you subscribe to my newsletter, read on Facebook or Instagram, it doesn’t matter. I love getting emails from YOU! If something I write resonates with you, or you disagree, or have questions – let me know! I pray for EVERY. SINGLE. request coming through my inbox.

As a mom and wife it isn’t about the results, but a relationship. I don’t want to just have “good children.” They need a relationship with me, not a mom who is always in the teacher-bossy-dictator mode. God also desires a relationship with my children, and my prayer isn’t that they become good, it is that they know Jesus Christ crucified and glorified in their own lives. My husband doesn’t need a wife who cooks, cleans, and has the house in tip-top order. He needs a wife who will love him, respect him, and serve him. Maybe cooking and cleaning is part of that, but it is about the relationship, not the results!

When my joy is found in relationships, I can be freed from the results. God is in control. We have a choice to make. Will we choice to rejoice in the relationships? Or will we be caught up in the results?

Jill Savage, from Hearts at Home, challenged us with these choices:

Choose people over project.
Choose God over goals.
Choose margin over mayhem.
Choose mission over money.
Choose perfected over perfect.
Choose calling over counting.
Choose love over lists.

I am choosing listening over talking. What will you choose?