How to Truly Rest As a Mother

How to Truly Rest As a Mother

(The following is from my book, The Glorious Ordinary)

“To hush the spirit, to be silent before the Lord, to wait in holy patience the time for clearing up the difficulties of Providence—this is what every gracious heart should aim at…God is worth waiting for.” – CH Spurgeon 

“Please take a nap.” I whispered to my three and half year old, rubbing her back. She stubbornly crossed her arms while sitting up in bed. Stuffed animals lined the wall, and her brow was furrowed. The special pink blanket and purple pillow were with her. The sounds of waves from the sound machine played softly. It was an hour since nap time had started. The boys were quiet in the basement. The youngest was snoring loudly in the next room. 

I had been upstairs to put the willful toddler back into bed four times. The afternoon sun shone through the window. Outside, the green trees blew in the breeze, promising a beautiful day. I laid her back down and covered her up. 

“One more book!” she pleaded. 

“No,” I replied.

“One more song!” she begged.

“No, it is nap time.” 

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she screamed, “I don’t want to take a nap time!”

Nap time is usually my quiet time and my favorite time of the day. I can finally breathe. I can let my shoulders relax just a little. I do my best to never schedule any appointments during nap time. Don’t mess with nap time. I love my time of rest. It is sometimes short and interrupted, but it doesn’t matter what I get to do as long as I do it alone. Most days my stubborn three-year-old will lay down, but sometimes she interrupts my rest time. As she fights rest time, I see a reflection of me. 

I’m always wanting rest in my life, but it seems like I fight it. Don’t we all sometimes resist the rest offered to us? We demand to keep busy. There is just too much to do. We have too many things on our plates. Business is the archenemy to rest. Most of my time is stolen not by resting but by doing work. Valuable work. And a lot of waiting would seem to be about keeping busy. Like Mary at the feet of Jesus, choosing time to be with Christ is the better choice. The better choice is to rest. 

A life lived in the daily is a life with pockets of rest. On the days filled with busy toddlers and babies who don’t sleep through the night, I often wished (only secretly) that I might break my leg. I imagined they would fill me with pain meds and then set me on my bed to rest for weeks on end. I just wanted to sleep! Taking care of littles and a house along with serving wears me down. Some days when I thought I would get rest it turned out there were too many interruptions. On those days, my husband would come home from work to a very frazzled wife and momma. It was harder to keep my composure when I expected to get rest and then didn’t. 

No matter how often we fight the urge to rest, we need to give in to it—daily. As my daughter struggled to get out of my arms during her nap, I held her. I gave her the warning of a punishment if she got out of bed again. My two older boys were closer to five years old before they were outgrowing their naps. I sighed, walking down the stairs. I figured I had at least a year left with this one. Someone told me once that they believed strong-willed children didn’t need as much sleep. I believe it. Some days she and I go around and around to fight the nap-time battle. Some days she finally gives in to her body’s need for sleep. Sometimes I give up and let her stay up to watch a show on TV. 

There is no magic formula for us to find rest in our lives. I can only tell you what I tell her: Stop fighting it. Give in and make time to rest. As we study rest, we will learn how not all rest is created equal, what abiding has to do with rest, and, yes, what we should be doing during our times of rest.

Mommy, I need…

More to drink…more cereal…a napkin…more syrup, ketchup, ranch dressing…

At every meal I’m the waitress, bringing refills and serving my little people. It’s okay. Breakfast and lunch are usually eaten after (sometimes before) they eat, so I walk back and forth from the table to the refrigerator. It’s okay. I realize it is only a season. Soon enough, they will be old enough to refill their own glasses. Until then, I can serve. I can refill them. Again. And again. Their need to be filled is a reflection of my own heart. 

It is scary to be empty. It is exhausting to wake up tired. When I wake up from the sound of footsteps and voices echoing in the hallway, I just want to pull the covers over my head. It is a little frightening to feel the void and know in my heart I can never fill myself. I don’t have enough to give them all they need. It is scary to be hollow and discover the empty spaces in our hearts.

With a house full of kids and a husband with 12-hour shifts, I drink my coffee while inside I feel so…empty. “For I am already being poured out as a drink offering…”(2 Tim. 4:6–8). Poured out. Emptied. Paul looked into his soul and emptied it all, on purpose. His cup was never full. He wasn’t just empty but deliberate about becoming empty. Paul choose the life of sacrifice by offering his life, his relationships, his work, and his calling on the altar to God. He did it for people and the gospel. He was busy doing the best work, not busy work. 

Every time I pour the milk and snap the lid back on, the little hands reaching for me mean I am being emptied, and in the sacrifice of myself, I find Him right beside me, filling me again. And again. Jesus is the Living Water. I can let the cool streams wash over my daily life again and again. I gladly offer myself to those around me. For in emptiness, I find myself full, in Christ.

Rest is the best way to fill our hearts. Drawing away from the crowds is something even Jesus needed to do. Yet we need to be wise about how we rest. Our seasons of life will ebb and flow, never staying the same. The way we rest now will not be how we rest in six months, two years, or ten years from now. We must learn to cultivate a heart of rest.

What is the secret? Be wholly occupied with Jesus.Sink the roots of your being in faith and love and obedience deep down into Him.Come away out of every other place to abide here.Give up everything for the inconceivable privilege of being a branch on earth of the glorified Son of God in Heaven.Let Christ be first.Let Christ be all.Do not be occupied with the abiding—be occupied with Christ.He will hold you, He will keep you abiding in Him. He will abide in you.– Andrew Murray

Oh Christ, be close to me today. Let me find a few minutes for prayer and rest. Let me be intentional about seeking you out, knowing you will fill my cup again and again. Amen.

Find help with resting and sign up for the secret to peace prayer challenge here!