What to Do When We Are Lonely

What to Do When We Are Lonely

This is an excerpt from my new book, Lessons in the Desert. 

How can our lives be so busy and yet so lonely? Even with a home literally filled with noise, I often feel the ache of loneliness in my heart until I pick up my Bible and read it. When I read God’s words to me, I remember that I’m never alone when I’m with my Savior. 

I grew up in a house full of activity and people. My parents homeschooled us so there was always someone around to play with. I lived at home until I got married, and then began my teaching job almost right away. I was always around children. Always. So when it came time to have my own, I was so excited to have kids  and build a home like the one I grew up in: full of people, laughter, memories, and togetherness. 

And yet,  five children later, I  still struggle with loneliness. My husband works long hours, and I often feel like a single parent.  Many women parent on their own  all of the time. How do we fight the loneliness? Let’s look at how NOT to fight it: 

1. More stuff. 

2. More activities. 

3. More food.

4. More social media scrolling. 

When I’ve tried to quench my loneliness with more stuff, activities, food, and social media, I feel even MORE empty and alone than before. Loneliness is defined as standing apart or isolated. Does this describe your life right now? But there is hope, friend. 

Your reality may be lonely, but your longing is for community. The good news is that you are never alone when you are with Christ. Paul spoke of God’s love in Romans 8:35 when he wrote, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?” No matter whether we feel alone or not – we can know for sure God loves us! 

Loneliness separates us from others, but no amount of loneliness can separate us from God. When you struggle to feel connected to people, turn to your Savior, and you will never feel alone. 

So what to do when we are lonely?

Paul continues in Romans 8:37-39,  “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Do you believe the cure for your loneliness is found in communion with God? If you don’t feel it and God seems far, remember the truth is true whether you believe it or not. There is comfort in Scripture and in prayer. In daily communion with God, we find a way to fight loneliness. Notice I said “fight” and Paul uses the term “conquerors” – loneliness is a battle we face. Don’t forget we are waging war against an enemy who would like to do anything he can to separate you from Christ. God will never leave you. 

Don’t let your enemy win. Fight the loneliness with truth.

So far, we’ve learned how  NOT to fight loneliness. Now let’s turn our attention to how to wage war against it. Let’s recognize the lies we tell ourselves and replace them with truth. 

LIE: I am not worth it. 

TRUTH: God says I’m worthy.

Psalm 139:14 –  “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

LIE: I am empty. 

TRUTH: God fills me and is enough. 

2 Corinthians 9:8 – “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.”

LIE: I don’t have enough faith. 

TRUTH: God gives me enough faith. 

Romans 12:3  – “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.”

LIE: I’m invisible. No one sees me. 

TRUTH: God always sees me. He is the God who sees. 

Genesis 16:13 –  “And she called the name of the Lord that spake unto her, Thou God seest me: for she said, Have I also here looked after him that seeth me?”

LIE: God doesn’t really love me. 

TRUTH: God loves me. 

Romans 5:8 – “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” 

Psalm 86:15 – “But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” 

Can we turn a season of desert into a season of fruit? God can use your season to bring about a new spiritual revival in your heart. I pray if you suffer from loneliness in this desert season God will remind you of the truth found in the verses above. Loneliness lies to us, but God always tells the truth.

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If you would like to read the rest of the devotional, Lessons from the Desert, click here. *Limited physical copies available.*