Let Go of the Lonely Label

Let Go of the Lonely Label 

What is your name? What does the name tag you wear say about you and what you believe about yourself? Women everywhere are living in loneliness. Sometimes it rears its ugly head when they least expect it. Often it simmers under the surface, whispering lies they believe to be true. Because their circumstances go unchanged, they begin to tell themselves they are unloved, uneasy, and unseen.  These are the names they write on the name tags of their heart. Crying alone at night with a heart so full of heartache and grief, feeling like no one understands the pain they feel, it is these moments they don’t know what to do. 


Instead of accepting the name given to us by loneliness, can we replace it with how God truly sees us? Loneliness means we’ve been called out of a life we wanted, planned, or imagined. We are empty and suffering because of things out of our control.  What if in our loneliness, we hear the voice of God? He is calling us OUT of the pain of isolation INTO intimacy with Himself. 


What if we changed the narrative of our story? Loneliness tells us our names are unloved, uneasy, and unseen. Lets rip off the old name tags and replace them with new ones: satisfied, safe, and secure. Lonely isn’t a name that belongs to us. Name our loneliness for what it is, but learn to let it go and let God into our hearts to call us something else.

More than anything I wanted to change my name. Growing up I knew several girls named Sarah. Because I was homeschooled and had very little friends this is saying a lot. Sarah was such a boring name. It wasn’t even spelled cool, like Sara. Maybe if I had a more exciting name my life would be less boring. 


Between my parent’s work and our homeschool, I didn’t have many friends growing up. A few, but never a lot. We lived in a quiet neighborhood with no other children. If I was tired of playing Monopoly or legos with my brother, I would venture outside. There was a lot of playing alone. My childhood memories are filled with me swinging on our swing set. Imagining stories in my head was my favorite pastime. I was always the hero of my story, saving the day. In real life I was alone. More than anything I longed for a friend who lived close by my house. 


The narrative I told my childhood self was, I must be unlovely, unwanted, and unseen because I had no friends. The few friends I had I only saw once or twice a week. Living most days alone bred a feeling of loneliness, which in turn planted seeds of who I thought I was based on these circumstances. 



If you are anything like me, you might feel trapped by your circumstances. Unable to get out, we let the lies from loneliness name us. We believe we are unloved, unseen, and unwanted.  Instead, we need to let go of these labels and allow God to name us. Redeem the lonely label. Let the lonely feelings lead you to God. You might not be able to get rid of the isolating circumstances in your life; but, you can learn to let isolation guide you to intimacy. 



What Does God Say About Us? 


God says we are: 

  1. Beloved. (Psalm 136)
  2. Safe. (Psalm 46)
  3. Satisfied. (Philippians 4:19)
  4. Healed. (Isaiah 61:1)
  5. Free. (Isaiah 61:1-2)


The truth I want to share, is more than a cliche or platitude. It’s an internal shift of the story we are telling ourselves. It is about redeeming our loneliness as we rediscover what God says about us. 

Sarah E. Frazer is a writer and Bible study mentor at sarahefrazer.com. She is the wife of Jason and mother of five who all serve as full-time missionaries in Honduras. Her passion is to encourage women to fall in love with the Bible. Sarah is the author of several Bible study resources for women. She share tools for deep-rooted Bible study at sarahefrazer.com. Follow her on Instagram (http://www.instagram.com/sarah_e_frazer) and join her free prayer challenge at sarahefrazer.com/prayer

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