Trusting God’s Character
Today’s guest post is written by Amy Elaine Martinez.
Hey sweet friends, before we begin, I need to let you know this story has some trigger points regarding suicide. If this subject is too much or still too raw for you, please stop here and know I am praying for your heart today.
Ten days after we dropped my son oﬀ for college, we were packing his things back into his car. We had bought and remodeled the cutest house on a corner not far from campus. Everything was perfect. And now, we were saying the hardest goodbye.
This isn’t how I’d planned things; and mind you, I was a professional planner. I’d prayed about this. We were so sure. He had an almost-free four-year-ride. How could this be happening?
My only prayer: “God, I don’t understand what You are doing.”
When We Don’t Understand
Sometimes, we don’t understand what’s going on in our world, our relationships, our bodies, or minds. We can’t grasp how God could possibly be at work while we are waiting, wondering, or when we are blindsided by warfare and something we never expected.
These are the times when we need to intimately know God’s character so that we won’t question His mode of operation in our circumstances. His methods of warfare don’t look anything like ours. His strategies are far more eﬀective than the most advanced wartime weapons. God’s unconventional ways are no match for our feeble attempts to make sense of His divine interventions.
Yet, when we know His character to be trustworthy and true, always after our best interest, and perfectly timed, we can trust God to do what is necessary for our desired outcome—His will.
Ultimately, the good life we’re longing for is only found in God’s Will for our lives—nothing less will satisfy. God sees the whole while we see only in part (1 Corinthians 13:9).
Trusting God with the unknown parts of our stories is the key to understanding the whole story of redemption.
In the Gospel of John, we ﬁnd the disciples utterly confused and taken oﬀ guard. They didn’t understand how the simple act of Jesus washing their feet and serving them with humility (even unto death) could mean victory, not just for them, but redemption for all of humanity. When they questioned Jesus, He answered them with compassion.
“Jesus replied, “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.”” John 13:7 NLT
Likewise, when our world seems to be turned upside down, we can count on Jesus to set things upright again.
God Sees the Whole Picture
Much like the disciples, when I thought all was lost, I had no idea of what was gained. Tragically, in May of 2020, we lost my nephew to suicide. It wasn’t altogether a surprise, but it was an absolute shock the day I got the phone call. My heart shattered for my sister, my niece, my boys. Could any good come from this horriﬁc tragedy?
What I didn’t know standing on the lawn of my alma mater that September day in 2018, was that what I thought was the hardest goodbye would turn out to be a life giving moment. You see, we later discovered that our son was struggling with suicidal thoughts and had tried to take his life on numerous occasions. He confessed to us later that if he had stayed at school, he wouldn’t be here today.
In the end, Johnathan’s death somehow saved my son’s life. To our knowledge, his last known attempt was February 2020 just months before his cousin’s death. My sister and I both agree, though heartbreaking, God redeemed this horrible situation by renewing my son’s will to live. That’s hard to write and harder to say; it comes at a great cost.
As I look back on my limited perspective the day Gabriel left campus, I realize how skeptical I was about God’s ability to handle things. Remember, I already had everything planned out my way. When all I could see was a quitter, a bad real estate investment, and a lost scholarship, God saw a life that needed to be saved. I saw in part, while He saw in whole.
God is trustworthy. His character is uncompromising. Inevitably we won’t understand what He is doing. But, as promised, one day, even if it’s when we get to Heaven, we will see the whole picture. We will know and understand how all the parts ﬁt together for our good and His glory.
Is there a troubling situation or circumstance that you don’t understand today? Would you consider giving God the unknown parts of your story to see how He might redeem it for His glory? He is always working behind the scenes.
Father God, when I can’t understand Your plan or see Your hand, I oﬀer up the unknown parts of my story. I want Your will and Your way over my limited point of view. I confess I only see in part. Help me to surrender the need to see in whole. I trust Your timing. Amen.
About Amy Elaine
Amy Elaine Martinez is devoted to helping heart-shattered lives become whole again in Christ. She’s a Grace Slinger & Victory Girl at heart who loves leading women to experience breakthrough & find freedom through an intimate relationship with Jesus.
She recently launched an all-new podcast; The Grace Frontier Podcast is designed to inspire listeners to step out of their comfort zones and into their God-given destiny.
She’s an Okie who loves pecan pie, fried okra, & exploring the plains off historic Route 66 where she lives in a tiny barn with the love of her life, David, and an Aussie named Maverick, who stole her heart after their two boys left to adventure out on their own. She’s a Mom-in-Law & Yia-Yia too.
Amy Elaine prefers cowboy boots & flip flops if she’s wearing shoes at all.
She’s a Bible teacher, former radio host, & Word junkie who loves Jesus wildly. Amy Elaine’s Blog, A Broken Girl Made Whole, inspires women to walk in wholeness & live in victory through the transforming power of Holy Spirit.
Becoming a Victory Girl: Staking Your Claim in The Kingdom is available on Amazon or by contacting Amy Elaine directly via email.