My Writing Heart and Longing for Paris

Can I share a secret? It may be that you already know it…..

I have always loved writing. As a little girl reading was a favorite pastime. I read through almost the entire children’s section in the library during my girlhood.  After reading Anne Frank’s diary, I longed to put words together myself. I began with the spiral notebooks and filled up pages (and pages) of just my adolescent thoughts. I loved it. I kept doing it. Year after year, after year.  Literature and English were my favorite subjects in high school. I knew I wanted to write when I left high school.

The sensible part of me didn’t major in English in college because I knew a teaching degree would get me a job. Even then I still had to write papers. Those were my favorite assignments.  I took a few extra literature classes during my junior and senior years. I loved them all. Women’s literature was a little intense, but I enjoyed reading Woolf and Austin.

After school and teaching, I had my first baby and my new role began. I loved being a stay-at-home mother, but the passion to write remained. I started my blog. Nothing major. Please don’t read the old posts! I kept the dream alive during those desperate days.  The secret dream of one day writing a book stayed very much alive. But I never thought I could write and be a mom. I put it on hold.

During the first few years of being a stay-at-home mom I read. And I kept my journals. I took some Bible classes. After finishing a Bible degree, I looked into Grad-School, even took my GRE.  As I began to look into different graduate schools for writing, I felt a hesitation.  I held back. None of them seemed to fit. So many doubts, but I also felt an uneasiness.  I was just a mom – with three little ones. I didn’t have time to devote to more classes. I didn’t really want to write for assignments any longer. I wanted to write for me.

By God-chance, I came across Compel. It is an online program for Christian writers, sponsored and ran by Proverbs 31 Ministries.  Through the encouragement and instruction of Compel I’ve watched my dreams blossom. My dream to write suddenly became doable.  I found that I didn’t have to wait until all my kids were grown before I started pursuing writing.  I began taking steps closer to my dream, even signing up for a writer’s conference this year.

Still….the nagging feelings of whether I was doing the right thing kept popping up in my head.

All the doubting voices began to whisper….

…..I wasn’t spending enough time with my children.

…..I wasn’t a good enough writer.

…..I needed a writing degree.

…..I needed a bigger platform.

…..it would take too much of my time.

…..no one will read what I wrote.

…..I’m not ready to present my book.

I began to feel that maybe this wasn’t the right time to do this. I almost canceled my reservation to the conference.

Then I began reading Sarah Mae’s book.*

Suddenly I heard something different whispering to me….It was God’s voice, and He was telling me that NOW is the right time.

Longing for Paris was like a soothing melody.  Those feelings of inadequacy had been shouting to my poor heart for months. Sarah’s book sang a new song. It repeated the melody of truth. God’s Truth. I knew that God had placed me here: a mom AND a writer in this time in my life. I didn’t have to wait until later – if writing was part of His will for me, He would continue to open the doors.

If you have a dream that you’ve had to put on hold because of life’s seasons, this book is for you. Sarah walks you through her own struggles. She had always wanted to not only visit Paris, Italy – but live there.  The croissants. The art.  The cheese! Sarah grabs your hand. Holds it tight. And leads you to your own Paris. I finally felt that I could breathe.  I deeply inhaled the life around me. Exhaled.  I realized that God doesn’t give us desires to keep them unfulfilled.  He meets us where our hearts are beating and offers something so beautiful!

You can pre-order Sarah’s book here:

 

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