Why Spiritual Growth Often Feels Painful
Again. I sat on my bed and sighed. That one sin had crept back into my heart, mind, and out through my raised voice. For years I’ve struggled with this one sinful habit. I’ve prayed, memorized Scripture, asked others to pray, and begged God to help me do better. I would see a victory and a breakthrough, but then in a moment of weakness I would fall back again into old sinful patterns.
It often happened when I was tired and overstimulated. Spiritual growth felt so slow! The frustration is real when we think about how God wants us to become more like Christ, but our sinful hearts are hard to tame. I forget that growth sometimes means removing things in my life that are not helpful.
As I was watching reels on my phone about plants I came across some advice I was hesitant to put into practice. I saw a plant very similar to mine and the person on the other end of the camera was cutting all of the long stems. It was a vining plant, and they insisted that if you cut the long growth, more growth would happen. I decided to give it a try. I gave my two vine plants a haircut.”
Just a few weeks later, I looked at the top of the plant and noticed at least 2-3 new shoots emerging from soil!
Pruning is actually a good thing. Spiritual growth often feels the same way. We might feel stuck, and discouraged over recurring struggles, but we also might need to prune things out of our lives. For me, most of my stress and then sinful reactions comes from not getting enough sleep or not eating well. Cutting my late-night scrolling habits is something I need to put back into practice. Jesus said that if we are not seeing fruit in our lives, it might be time to prune.
“Every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” (John 15:2)
God Works Through Pruning Seasons
The thing plants have taught me is that healthy growth is rarely instant. If I prune my plants, I need to wait for new growth. Right after I pruned my fiddle leaf fig last year every single leaf fell off. My husband told me that if I could make this “Stick” grow again he would be amazed. Well, today he is amazed. Not at my ability – because honestly, all I did was cut the top of the plant. He is amazed because instead of a stick, I have a full-grown bush that is 100% more healthy than before. It took time though. My plant looked like a stick for about 2 months. We often want transformation overnight, but God usually forms us gradually.
For you and me pruning might mean repenting of sinful habits, possibly cutting ties with unhealthy relationships, or giving up “good” things for “better” things. It might mean God will slow us down, change our plans, or leave us with unmet expectations.
Pruning is part of abiding.
That is the uncomfortable part of growth. God uses these pruning times to remove distractions, provide godly conviction, and offer a place for us to surrender. During this time, although it can feel like a time of loss or disappointment, we are actually learning dependence. These difficult seasons can lead to deeper roots.
Sometimes pruning allows us to:
- returning to prayer again
- choosing faithfulness in weakness
- opening Scripture when you don’t feel emotional
- continuing to trust God in ordinary life
Pruning is not punishment. It is preparation for greater fruitfulness.
“He never takes away anything from us except to make room for something better.” — Andrew Murray, Abide in Christ
Don’t Quit in the Pruning Season
In Galatians 6:9 Paul says,
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”
On the podcast you can find a meditation on Psalm 37 — a psalm that reminds us to trust God in the slow and ordinary seasons of life. Over and over throughout the chapter David encourages us not to panic, strive, or lose heart when life feels difficult or unfair. Instead, he writes: “Trust in the Lord and do good” and “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him” (Psalm 37:3,7).
Waiting patiently is rarely easy, especially when we long to see growth in our spiritual lives. We want quick change, instant healing, and visible progress. Yet God often works far more slowly than we expect. Like a gardener tending a plant, He patiently nurtures roots before fruit appears. Psalm 37 reminds us that faithful growth is not usually dramatic or immediate. More often, it is quiet and steady.
As I’ve reflected on pruning this week, I keep coming back to the invitation to “be still.” Sometimes abiding means continuing to trust God when we cannot yet see what He is doing. Sometimes it means faithfully returning to Him day after day, believing that He is still at work beneath the surface.
Maybe my plants would like to give up during times of pruning. But they don’t. Being faithful during seasons of slow (or no) growth takes faithfulness. The small obedience we do each day matters. As we lean into more quiet, or unseen seasons of our life, God is still growing fruit. A plant does not bloom every day of the season. Yet life is still present.
If you are in a slow season spiritually, Psalm 37 offers a gentle reminder: God has not forgotten you. The Gardener is still tending your heart, even when growth feels hidden. Listen here.
Maybe spiritual growth feels slow because real growth often is slow. God is not mass-producing fruit in our lives. He is carefully tending each branch with patience, wisdom, and love.
A Prayer for When Spiritual Growth Feels Painful
Lord,
Thank You for being patient with me in the slow seasons of growth. When I become discouraged by my weakness or frustrated by how long change seems to take, remind me that You are still working beneath the surface. Help me trust Your pruning, even when it feels uncomfortable or painful.
Give me courage to surrender the habits, distractions, and patterns that keep me from deeper fellowship with You. Teach me to remain connected to You day by day, trusting that fruit will come in Your timing. Root my heart deeply in Your truth so that when difficult seasons come, I will not be shaken.
Thank You that You do not abandon unfinished branches. You lovingly tend, shape, and grow us with grace. Help me not to quit in the pruning season, but to keep abiding in You.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
