How to Abide in Christ During Seasons of Grief

Jesus says: “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”  –John 15:4-5

Grief can mean a lot of things. Long again I thought the only kind of hard grief people faced was that associated with death. The loss of someone we loved is the only kind of grief we will face here on earth. 

How to Abide in Christ During Seasons of Grief

How life has taught me differently. 

Grieving loss is a part of life, but we can lose more than people we love. The sadness and sorrow associated with death wounds us deeply, but there are also “deaths” that bring the same level of sadness. The death of dreams and plans can sting so bad. Losing something we planned, prepared, and sacrificed for years can cause a lasting wound. The disappointment of other people’s choices and their willingness to fall into sin again and again is such an intense grief as well. 

In our grief we still can abide in Christ. Depression, sorrow, sadness, and grief can exist together with a closeness to God our Father and Jesus our Savior. The picture of the vine in John 15 reminds us that like a plant, growth can still happen in the darkness of depression.  Jesus says we can still abide, still stay close, and still bear fruit! 

In Psalm 42 we read David’s prayer of lament. A lament is simply a cry, prayer, and declaration of both the pain of the heartache but the hope of a heart trusting God. Hope and hurt walk hand-in-hand with lament. In lament we are not complaining to God, but bringing our sorrows and pain to the One who cares deeply and can do something about it. 

“My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, ‘Where is your God?’” Psalm 42:3

God might be hard to find when our hearts are overwhelmed with grief, when our tears have wet our pillows at night and food does not comfort. Those are the times we do as David did, we cry out to God in weakness and dependence. We also cry out in hope.

“Why, my soul, are you so dejected?… Put your hope in God, for I will still praise him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 42:5

In this verse we see the beautiful tension of abiding—not pretending we are okay, but remaining in Christ even when our soul feels downcast. David speaks to the soul and we can too! Our souls are allowed to feel downcast, but we can also stay close to Christ as well. 

When Your Soul Is Downcast, Remember…

• You don’t have to hide your grief from God. Bring your honest heart to Him in prayer (Psalm 42:3).
• You don’t have to feel close to God to abide in Him. Abiding is remaining, even when your emotions are heavy (John 15:4).
• You don’t have to carry hope and hurt separately. God welcomes both your tears and your trust (Psalm 42:5).
• You don’t have to produce spiritual fruit on your own. Stay connected to Christ, and trust Him to continue His work in you (John 15:5).
• You don’t have to walk through grief alone. Jesus remains with you, even in the darkest valley (Psalm 23:4).

If you’re walking through a season of grief, sadness, or depression, I hope you will take a moment this week to listen to the Psalms to Help You Sleep podcast, especially Psalm 42. We’ll look more closely at David’s honest lament, discover why God welcomes our tears, and be reminded that hope can exist even when our hearts feel heavy. My prayer is that God’s Word will encourage you and gently point you back to the Savior who never leaves your side.

As you go into this week, don’t put pressure on yourself to “get back to normal” or become the perfect Christian. Instead, simply look for one way to abide in Christ each day. Read a few verses before bed. Whisper a prayer when tears come. Sit quietly in God’s presence for a few moments. Listen to a worship song. Tell God exactly how you feel. These small acts of remaining are not insignificant—they are the very heart of abiding.

Friend, if your soul feels downcast today, remember that Jesus has not stepped away from you. The Vine still holds His branches, even when they feel weak. So keep coming back to Him. Keep pouring out your heart. Keep hoping in the God who is near to the brokenhearted. He is with you in your grief, He is sustaining you in this moment, and He will faithfully carry you one day at a time.