How to Maintain Traditions When Life Changes

Creating and maintaining traditions for holidays and other milestones is a beautiful way to connect in everyday life, but what happens when traditions change? I would love to share with you words from my friend, Kristin Taylor, on how to maintain traditions when life changes.

During the past few years, I’ve grieved several changing traditions as relationships with family and friends have changed and circumstances have altered our calendar. I know it’s part of life, but I still don’t like it.

Grieving traditions changing is okay! Grief is about loss and certainly is experienced when relationships and family dynamics change, even when nobody died. Grief also isn’t linear and can be sparked by so many tiny moments as we’re moving forward. 

I’ll give you a peek into my mind and what I’m telling myself because, surely, I’m not the only one experiencing this. Right?

How to Maintain Traditions When Life Changes

1. Maintain traditions that still work, even if they look different.

For the two decades of Christmases that Greg and I have been married, I’ve written a Christmas letter in some form. Last year, I changed it up, but kept a wordy update on the back of a family picture. Of course, people keep up with us via text, social media, and my website, but this was a tradition that I love and wasn’t ready to dismiss from my life. 

2. Start new traditions.

For more than a decade, we had Friendsgiving with a group of friends that has grown apart. I totally miss it and wonder what to do with the tote of “Friendsgiving” supplies I keep in my garage. Regardless, I’ve found other ways to invite others in for new traditions, such as New Year’s Eve, which is another holiday that has shifted for us over the years. Being the one who asks can help implement new traditions that become new chapters in our stories. Maybe bring a favorite recipe or game from the old tradition to the new gathering. 

3. Remember, the actual date doesn’t matter.

Perhaps celebrating Christmas on the Saturday before Dec. 25 works best. Then embrace that. Realize that the tradition and celebration matter because of the relationships, not the date. 

4. Communicate.

I’ve made a habit of connecting with a text, phone call, or card when someone comes to mind. The same could be said regarding traditions. If you’re missing gathering with Aunt Judy, tell her. Maybe a new tradition will even be born, but she has to know that’s what you want! Plus, we all like to know we’re remembered. 

5. Recognize the beauty in change.

I know, change is hard, but it can also be so good. With my teenagers, life is different than when they were younger, but there is more depth to our conversations and substance to our time together. This has shifted and started traditions – something I know will continue as they get older and bring others into our family. 

6. Identify why a tradition matters to you.

Was going on a tree hunt for a wild Christmas tree truly about family bonding time for me? Then putting up an artificial tree and figuring out new family time works too! Think about why Friendsgiving was special or why you liked doing that one thing with that one group for your birthday, and find ways to create those connections in new ways.

How have you adapted traditions throughout the years?

Kristin Hill Taylor believes in seeking God as the author of every story and loves swapping these stories with friends on her porch. She writes about adoption, community, and hospitality. In 2024, she published her third book, Created for Communion: Discovering God’s Design for Biblical Friendship. She lives in Murray, Kentucky, with her husband and three kids. Join her at kristinhilltaylor.com.