5-Minute Devotional on God’s Love

I was always the try-hard girl. The one that never felt like she measured up. Always. In everything. From daily household chores, to school work, to my job, to marriage, to parenting. For almost thirty years I struggled to “earn God’s love.” 

5-Minute Devotional on God’s Love

Of course I would never SAY this. I believed in God’s unconditional love for people – just maybe, not me. I mean of course the inmate on death row was unconditionally loved by God, but not me. The mom who snapped at her children or failed to support her husband and always seemed to be complaining…..that person was always falling short. 

I’m not sure when it happened – the day or the circumstance, but about a few months into bringing our daughter home from China, I was sitting on the floor with her. She could barely crawl at two years old and I was probably thinking about DROOL. It  was enemy #1. I hated how much she drooled. It was a reminder of the loss…..the immense loss she had experienced and in some way would always hold…and it represented all I had lost. 

My “future” that I had worked so hard to secure, was gone. Broken dreams are hard to mourn. 

Probably while I was sitting on the floor I had a thought from the Holy Spirit. I don’t claim to have heard God’s voice, but it was like God was whispering to me: You can’t love the loss away. I loved that little girl, but loss was always going to be a part of her story. Always. 

Adoption was always so redemptive in my mind until we actually adopted a child. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE adoption and support it, but adoption doesn’t just “fix” the children. The only thing that would heal her loss, both hers and now her brother’s, is God’s love.

Loss And Love

My love wouldn’t be enough and during that season of loving her and praying for her, but God’s love would be! I don’t share a lot of details of either of our children’s adoptions and especially the struggles they have experienced coming home. In some ways Joel struggles more than Liana but maybe that’s just because he is more talkative and very verbal. 

Love Comes from God

Either way, Moses’ story of adoption really resonates with me every time I read it. Although we might see it as a way for Moses to have gained the knowledge he would need later, and I’m sure that was part of it, but one reason I think God had this a part of Moses’ story was to show him and us that love ultimately comes from God. 

In Psalm 90:14 Moses says “satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love….” Moses knew the importance of God’s love in each of our lives. Of course my children, adopted and biological, need God’s love, I do too. The good-girl also needs His love and that’s what my daughter taught me.  

Not Based On Me

I was always trying to get love from my marriage, my children, my extended family, and my friends – and that love and acceptance was always motivated by what I DID. When I look at the love God gives, I have found myself worthy and whole – not based on anything I do or did. 

Read more of my story in my book, I Didn’t Sign Up for This and discover how God’s goodness can meet you right where you are!